The Broken Beast Dirge

A beautiful blog about Alzheimer’s

Suddenly Mad

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is drawing-of-ian-.jpg
Portrait of Ian, 2021

I am a broken, sputtering machine, still trying to work. I know that words have meaning, and so I gave this post the title, The Broken Beast Dirge. A dirge is a slow mournful piece of music. Imagine the sound of a solo bagpipe playing a hauntingly beautiful tune for the fallen hero or heroine.

I was happy, capable, quick witted and always interested in tomorrow. How do I know? I see ads for rugs, runners, on my phone, things I thought about buying to decorate our home. Colorful things. I loved color. I liked to shop, I liked new clothes, furniture, decorating. Reds, purples, yellow and blue. I was eccentric, but I had desire and ability. I think it’s over six years since my mind started to unravel. Five years since the confirmed diagnosis. Alzheimer’s disease. Over five years since the Spect scan. That was…

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