Daily OM 100318

I’ve really been involved with grief lately.  Almost a month ago we lost our little 14 year old dog that was a rescue.  We only had her a wee bit under one year.   Fortunately she passed quickly, but far too soon, as far as I’m concerned. 

I had hoped that we would have had at least another year with her.  Unfortunately she came to us with many years of neglected health issues. 

We did the best we could to take care of some of those issues – like a lifetime of unattended rotten teeth, which caused her unbearable pain.  But 12 teeth removed later she was a new dog.   

The broken ribs she had suffered from having been abused had healed as best they could.  Daily massages from me helped relax her body and made her very happy.  The vet and the groomer told me about the broken ribs.  How could someone do that to a small sweet dog?

And then the smoke from the fires in Canada affected all of us – even her.  Her breathing became more and more laboured.  And then one day – it was over. 

Even almost a month later I am still grieving.  I find myself talking to her like she’s still here – she really liked my talking to her all day long.

The Process of Grieving

BY MADISYN TAYLOR

Grief can arise from many life situations, but know it is not a permanent state of being.

When we experience any kind of devastating loss, whether it is the loss of a loved one, a dream, or a relationship, feelings may arise within us that are overwhelming or difficult to cope with. This sense of grief can also come up when we are separated from anyone or anything we have welcomed into our lives. And while it may feel like we are caught up in a never-ending spiral of sadness and emptiness, it is important to remember that the grief we are feeling is not a permanent state of being. Rather, grief is part of the process of letting go that in many ways can be a gift, allowing us to go deeper within ourselves to rediscover the light amidst the seeming darkness.

The emotions that accompany any kind of loss can be intense and varied. A sense of shock or denial is often the first reaction, to be replaced by anger. Sometimes this anger can be directed at your loved one for “abandoning” you; at other times you may feel outrage toward the universe for what you are enduring. And while there are stages of grief that people go through – moving from denial to anger to bargaining to depression to acceptance – the cycles of grief often move in spirals, sometimes circling forward and then back again. You may even experience moments of strength, faith, and laughter in between. While these emotions seem to come and go sporadically, it is important to feel them, accept them, and allow them to flow. With time, patience, and compassion, you will eventually find your center again.

As we move through our grief, we may find ourselves reluctant to release our pain, fearing we are letting go of who or what we have lost. We may even regard our movement toward healing as an act of disloyalty or giving up. Know that while the hurt may fade, the essence of what you had and who you loved will have already transformed you and forever stay with you. If anything, once you are ready for the pain of your loss to subside, their memories can then live more fully within you. Remember, that healing is a part of the spiraling cycles of grief, and that in letting yourself feel restored again, you are surrendering to a natural movement that is part of the dance of life.

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